here. And things are moving on. You are moving on.

I sit. And sometimes I am fine, but as ten years pass me and move on without me I lament and weep and mourn and wonder if my heart could possibly break even more. Sometimes when I am really still I can feel it shatter and sink.  Maybe it will stop. It will stop feeling, or beating. 

I am still. I am waiting.

I found her on a night of fire and noise
Wild bells rang in a wild sky
I knew from that moment on
I’ll love her till the day that I died
And I kissed away a thousand tears
My lady of the Various Sorrows
Some begged, some borowed, some stolen
Some kept safe for tomorrow
On and endless night, silver star spangled
The bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle


Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you?


She was given to me to put things right
And I stacked all my accomplishments beside her
Still I seemed so obselete and small
I found God and all His devils inside her
In my bed she cast the blizzard out
A mock sun blazed upon her head
So completely filled with light she was
Her shadow fanged and hairy and mad
Our love-lines grew hopelessly tangled
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle


Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you?


She had a heartful of love and devotion
She had a mindful of tyranny and terror
Well, I try, I do, I really try
But I just err, baby, I do, I error
So come find me, my darling one
I’m down to the grounds, the very dregs
Ah, here she comes, blocking the sun
Blood running down the inside of her legs
The moon in the sky is battered and mangled
bAnd the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle


Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you?


All things move toward their end
I knew before I met her that I would lose her
I swear I made every effort to be good to her
I made every effort not to abuse her
Crazy bracelets on her wrists and her ankles
And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle


Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you? 

suck without you.

doesn’t feel any better as more time passes. 

I feel direction-less, and at the mercy of the fates.

I’m the less travelled path, and you have chosen the easiest way.

But it won’t be the way home. 

… special enough to keep.